Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
For me, the appeal of kink goes beyond just putting on a role or ‘mask’ and whipping my beloved, although there is that. I feel that there is something within me, something spiritual, that finds home within the lifestyle. It calms me to be in a D/s relationship, almost as if this was the weight to even the scales of life, which – as pretentious as that sounds, kinda makes sense now that I write it because I am of the libra star sign. If you go by those things.
If you look back at my life and back at my sexual encounters, you’ll find traces of my Dominance slowly coming to the cracks as I came to terms with my identity. I suppose if we are to talk about why I was drawn there, we could look at anything between my upbringing in a conservative household to my interest in horror films and the like. This is all to say I am drawn to it in a number of ways – because a D/s relationship is a doorway to a deeper relationship beyond the usual ‘vanilla’ lifestyle. Because I have deep desire to be in charge. Because I enjoy exerting my Dominance on the flesh and mind of my submissive. Because it feels, in my heart, to be right.
I’m looking at my words thinking if I’ve given a good enough answer. But I am not sure I could provide one. I can’t really explain it. I feel like everything in our lives fall into place, like pieces of a puzzle. And I feel on a deep cosmic scale that this is who I am meant to be – because I have tried living without a D/s relationship and I have tried living without being Dominant. I have been with partners who have had no interest in kink or that lifestyle or me being Dominant and it has been devastating to my life. It’s who I am. Anyhoo, gunna stop myself there.