30 Days of Kink – Day #11 – The Ethics of Kink

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What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Be kind, caring and compassionate to one another. I believe BDSM should NOT be used as a gateway for emotional and physical abuse. Make sure that you are into the lifestyle for the right reasons.
For the Dominant, treat your submissive as equal. You may be above her in scene but outside of that, she can and will match you. Remember: her needs come before your wants.

For the submissive, always remember your body is your temple. Its a cliche but by Joe, it’s true. He/She has to earn your respect and your submission. So long as He/She treats you right, they deserve it.

True, there are different dynamics for each relationship so I guess it comes down to a few things: mutual love, mutual respect. Compassion. A healthy interaction.

Mutual love needs to be there, as there’s no point in things being one sided. At the end of the day, love needs to be there on both sides otherwise one could very well exploit the other. Same goes for respect. A Dominant needs to respect the boundaries and wellbeing of his or her sub as the submissive should, once it’s earned, respect the authority of a Dominant. And all of this is wrapped up in compassion. Compassion towards backgrounds, ideas, beliefs, emotional wellbeing.

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14 thoughts on “30 Days of Kink – Day #11 – The Ethics of Kink

  1. I’d sure like to see a definition of these terms “mutual love, mutual respect. Compassion. A healthy interaction” I don’t think they are defined well enough to build a stable relationship

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    1. Your comment is not making much sense to me, I’m afraid. Those elements sure sound stable to me but therein lies differences I guess. Beauty of an opinion. Mutual love needs to be there, as there’s no point in things being one sided. At the end of the day, love needs to be there on both sides otherwise one could very well exploit the other. Same goes for respect. A Dominant needs to respect the boundaries and wellbeing of his or her sub as the submissive should, once it’s earned, respect the authority of a Dominant. And all of this is wrapped up in compassion. Compassion towards backgrounds, ideas, beliefs, emotional wellbeing. I write on the fly so perhaps I should’ve edited this one to sound more clearer. I’ll do that now.

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  2. What is love? What is respect?
    Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

    What then is a dominant? Just a feel good pill for the submissive? How does your description put anyone in charge? Why, in your description, is there need of anyone to be ‘in charge’

    You need to define or redefine what it means when someone has sympathetic pity and concern for someone else’s suffering or misfortune.

    I don’t think you’ve come anywhere close to describing a total power exchange. I don’t think that you’ve got any understanding of being a dominant or even a top.

    I love my mother, what does loving my slave mean? You have no definition of what that means. To simply state it is to say nothing useful.

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  3. Everybody is going to see the ideas brought forward in the blog ion different perspectives. And while it is ok to ask questions it’s not ok to attack.
    I for one, who has been a sub for quiet sometime, feel that the writer of this blog hits the nail on head everytime, I think living by his philosophies would be very benificail.
    I have learnt much and have been opened to new ideas.
    While we all don’t have to agree on everything written, I for one am thankful for it.

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  4. TDD, I appreciate this so very much. It was always my understanding in this ‘lifestyle’ (or at least from their banner of open and accepting ways) that there are NO concrete definitions on how to be a dominant,submissive,top, bottom, slave, master – it is a unique journey by unique beings. If you’re blessed to meet another whose uniqueness is a match for yours – HOT DAMN! Play on!

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