The BDSM Contract

The BDSM contract is a document in which the Dominant and submissive negotiate the details of their D/s relationship and sexual activity.
Yes, they exist. Fifty Shades of Grey wasn’t lying to you when Christian pulled it out for Ana, though I would not recommend following his rapey way of getting her to sign it. The dude’s a sociopath. But I digress.

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As you can see from this example that I pulled – the contract is thoroughly detailed, so that it covers not only the basics but anything that may play havoc on the submissive’s mind. The power of writing is that when someone sits down to write up something – anything – they are left to exercise their mind as they put thought down on paper. So a contract is unique in this way. Given the quality of the questionnaire, the submissive might be challenged in ways he or she didn’t realise. Or they just might appreciate that the contract is going to lengths to cover every base.

Filling out the questionnaire can be an exciting time for the couple, perhaps even arousing. It’s a tantalising time because it can build the anticipation but it’s also important because it establishes safety and boundaries that will be important going forward into the relationship.

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My pet and I? Our contract was verbal. When I claimed her for the first time, I undressed her and basically asked her questions that were similar to the ones featured in these examples I have for you. For the next few months, we underwent training. For her and for myself, as I was new to being in a D/s relationship as well. I did my best to cover every base, make sure she was comfortable. Keep in mind, we knew each other was into BDSM before and before we entered into a relationship and a D/s relationship, we discussed our limits. The first few months we trained, mostly every night, definitely every weekend when we weren’t too busy. So, our contract was hands on and verbal. We spent hours talking together and establishing safety and boundaries.

But everyone’s different. Everyone has different methods. The contract, the physical contract, isn’t mandatory but would I recommend it? Again, it depends on the couple. A submissive might benefit from sitting down to fill it out. She might be confronted with information previously unknown to her. It might come up as she fills it out. For the Dominant, it is useful because you can understand your submissive better. On paper, she will be confronted to write but in person she might shrug and say “I don’t know” because she’s on the spot. The paper will give her time to think about her answer more carefully.

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In the end, it’s all about preference. The contract can be an experience that binds you two together or perhaps a lengthy conversation could suffice.

For any questions, you can always reach me at my email address, which is located in the contact page of my blog.

Happy exploring!

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5 thoughts on “The BDSM Contract

  1. I love the idea of a contract, as you say it can be arousing I am sure of that. Although somehow I feel I would never want one.
    Thank you for this post, it is great to actually see an example of a contract to really get the feel of one and the types of questions it would entail.

    ~slave bri

    Like

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