Could BDSM be hereditary?

back-held

Could BDSM be hereditary? I think that’s an interesting topic to talk about. Is it something that’s developed within ourselves, in our own brains or is it a genetic thing passed on? Maybe I’m talking out of my arse, maybe I’m onto something. I mean, if the love for books can be passed on or a skill in a particular object – why can’t this be passed on as well?

It just makes me think because if I ever have a family and my son or daughter started showing interest in any way, I would love to be that close-knit kind of family where I could talk to him or her about the darkness within us. I mean, that’s another thing isn’t it? The darkness being passed on. I love helping with other people’s darkness and it would be an honour to help my own child.

But with this idea comes another little sub thought: if our darkness that makes up our true nature is hereditary, it takes away from the magic of the notion that we as individuals develop the taste on our own. I like the idea that everything in our lives lead us to the revelation that we may be Dominant or submissive. It’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?

Science, for all its wonders, presents the cold hard facts and while I don’t want to ignore them of course, I like to believe there’s room for magic in the world. So: Magic, science or maybe both? It’s a fascinating topic to me and within this, there’s so many branches that you can explore – like: what if that darkness resides within my parents but their upbringing led them to shun it or hide from it?

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10 thoughts on “Could BDSM be hereditary?

  1. In my humble opinion I was born with a submissive nature. That part seems genetically encoded for me. But, then thousands of little life experiences have enhanced, strengthened and nurtured this nature of mine. And those same experiences for another person might have been inert or might have supported the growth of that different person’s nature…say they were a Dominant. It’s like alchemy…and yes, magic!

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  2. If I may expand on your theory a bit, Sir… I think that it is not only nature, but nurture as well. It is possible that I was born into a submissive nature, but if my parents hadn’t raised me the way they did it might never have manifested. I was overprotected as a child and wasn’t able to do things acceptably right — now I search for someone to ‘take care of me’ but who is also willing to let me explore and learn from the new things my own way… I’m having a tough time finding both of those things wrapped up in a single person.
    (also, I am speaking here as a “novice”, trying to explore and even see if being a submissive is what I have been craving.)
    Thanks 😀

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  3. There was a short discussion about his sort of topic in one of my classes. Masochism can be learned; Pavlov had apparently conditioned the dogs he worked with to salivate to electrical shocks by repeatedly presenting the electrical shocks right after presenting food to them. The behaviorist in me says that it mostly has to do with nurture. During play there is the pain from whatever you use then the petting or aftercare once all is said and done. Also as social creatures, the social interaction in the form of intimacy is presented soon after the pain. So pain is equated with pleasure.
    But there is also the nature part. Like how humans had domesticated dogs, the ones that were more easily domesticated had lower levels of cortisol, the chemical that is emitted into the body during stress-inducing situations. Perhaps there is something like that coming into play, like the lack of cortisol being released into the body when being struck with a leather belt, or more endorphins and adrenaline in the body after a play session. A high could be produced that could override the fight/flight/freeze response. So either way there is some biological part going on, but there is a LOT of social and environmental stuff going on as well.

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  4. I’m so glad I stumbled onto your blog. I have a 15 year old girl, and I ask myself that question every day! Is she manifesting traits? Did she ‘get’ something from me? Or am I just thinking zebras when I hear hoof beats.

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    1. I guess it’ll be a mystery. Just let her grow on her own. It must be hard to let your children stumble and fall and get up again but I guess that’s the rite of passage. Just know if she decides that she’s a Domme or a submissive, it’ll be an enriching life for her.

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  5. I’m in my mid 50’s, and I do know for a fact that at least being Dominant myself is hereditary. A few years ago I “found” my dads hidden folder on his PC containing all the type of BDSM I like as well. Even stranger is how he marks his hidden folders is the same as I do. I have not learnt anything on this side from him at all as I only see him a couple of times a year, and was never exposed to it in any way as a kid. And my 20 year old son is showing a very high level of Dominance, not only in the way he acts generally, but his job is in animal training using very Dominant ways to achieve results. I am not sure if he is also starting to act things out with his girl friend yet, I know I have a tight relationship with him and he does talk to me about all sorts of very personal things. Personally I never related as an actual Dominant myself until I was about 23-25.

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