Battling a Mental Illness in a D/s relationship

I suffer depression and anxiety – there, I said it.
I’m not going to jump on a soap box and dance about it, I’m telling you this because what I want to talk about is mental illness in a BDSM world and more importantly, in a D/s relationship.

Why? Because I was that confused person. Because I still struggle with the irrational thoughts that come with the anxiety. I thought maybe if I talk a bit about my experience, maybe it might encourage someone and if I can reach someone, anyone, then that’s good. So I apologise if I sound preachy, I’m just trying to help..

I don’t have any answers, I’m afraid. Your journey is your own and it’s going to be tough but I’m telling you to stick through it because once you’re clear of the storm, it’s a beautiful and bright little world.

I know it’s hard. Sometimes it can be excruciatingly hard to open up, to put that trust in someone. For me, I’ve stumbled in circles trying to let go of my desire to analyse and I think that requires a great deal of mediation. If you can reach that point where you can relax a bit about whatever it is you are worried about with your partner, then you’re on the right track.

Sit down and talk to them about it. Tell them how your mind operates and what you worry about. If they are worth a damn, chances are they won’t give two hoots about what is on your mind – they’ll do anything to ease your mind. If that’s not how it is, if they can’t afford a little patience then I don’t think you should stay in that spot. Mmkay? Please? For this Dominant?

Trust, communication and patience. No matter what you’re affected by, that’s what it takes in any relationship.
I was a nervous and twitchy young man and it’s taken me a great deal of help to break out of that and to let loose who I really am. You can do that too.

the trick is to not give it power. If you let the fear creep in, it will drag you to its depths. It’s easy to let your imagination run wild but try not to. Once you acknowledge it and belittle it, it can’t hurt you. It might be still there and it most definitely might rear its ugly head again but you’ll be stronger and you CAN tear it apart so it doesn’t destroy your life and relationship.

Some have asked me if a relationship while battling depression and/or anxiety is possible – I say yes it is. Hope and believe and practice your meditation. These are useful tools that have helped me.

13 thoughts on “Battling a Mental Illness in a D/s relationship

  1. “the trick is not to give it power”, that is so very true. Helpful well written information from personal experience and insight, not preaching at all. Thank you. Nice post.


  2. i have ocd, PTSD, and anxiety. i used to have depression, but i’ve rejected it, i choose how to feel and i feel optimistic, sarcastic, that almost everything is funny, and i know i have a smart mouth. i’m pretty much having fun alot. i don’t know what i have PTSD about, i was just diagnosed with it, something to do with how i was raised, but i feel like i raised myself and i’ve been afraid to move, to breathe, or even be seen. i was molested and have a sexual type of ocd, i can go into a trance state and follow any man that calls to me on the street and i’ve done that several times, so i do that online too. i have rules and guidelines in place to stop me from doing things, but sometimes i slip and i don’t know if it’s fair to be punished for things i don’t know how to control. No one has given me any tools to cope with ocd, it just seems to me that ocd is meant to win and i don’t want to give in to it. Sometimes my Sir has triggered it. He had asked me if i wanted to see his package and i can’t say no to that. Honestly, i didn’t know if i wanted to or not, how can i really tell if i want to or if it’s an obsession? We had a conversation about that and i had actually given in to my ocd, that’s not a good feeling. But it’s okay, i don’t think he can trigger it anymore, my ocd has only happened with strangers or old friends.. so far it hasn’t happened with anyone i know well. Right now i had a very hard shock the other day when an online friend said something very sexual to me and we both knew that my Dom was going to read that, my ocd is currently in a coma and on life support. i haven’t had an episode in 2 days and i don’t know if it will recover. πŸ˜›


  3. Sir,
    I battle many mental disorders and they play havoc with my securities. Master is so strong and brave when he helps me with them. Eight years we have been fighting this battle. We have our good days and bad. I’m glad to know that I am not the only one in the life that has these issues.



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