The Fantasy and The Reality of BDSM

Here’s a fun fact: BDSM will not play out like the fantasy in your head. Maybe that goes without saying but humans are funny buggers. Whether it be the sex scenes in films or just what we build up in our minds, we expect something akin to an eighties’ music video clip – mist rising up, bodies gyrating in perfection and everything running smoothly and in sync.

That’s false. That’s silly. You can drop that idea right now: because let me tell you, you’re human: you’ll make mistakes, you’ll stumble. You’ll still in an orgasm or your body will make uncomfortable sounds during sex. The toy you two were gearing up to use in that week long fantasy you’ve created in each other’s minds – that might falter or the batteries might fail and you’ve forgot to get new batteries – and unless you’ve meticulously planned ahead, it can happen!
Okay, maybe you’re the freak example – maybe you’re the modern Casanova. But the rules still apply. You’re not untouchable or impervious to faults. There is still room for even the smoothest of smooth folk to make error:
Because as glamorous as sex is, as beautiful and intense and empowering as it can be with your partner, there’s definitely room for error. It’s definitely not the fantasy that film or TV present to you.
I think sometimes we get this confused. Sometimes we think that our acts of BDSM are going to be as close as glamorous as what pornography might portray. And you know what, the magic you can tap into can be even better than that grubby staged stuff.
I guess what I’m trying to say is: if you’re in the act and you make a mistake, either as a Dominant or a submissive – don’t worry about it. You’re going to be fine – it happens. We’re all human.
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11 thoughts on “The Fantasy and The Reality of BDSM

  1. lol, batteries always do me in! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had toys drop dead or malfunction. The worst is getting a new toy and fantasizing about it then it doesn’t live up to the hype. But even when a scene goes not as planned it’s still a hundred times better than my old vanilla life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Some of the BEST moments stem from “mistakes”. An unexpected noise, body function, reaction, or ungraceful motion have ended in the strongest orgasms I have ever experienced. Fucking through laughter is one of my favorite things. 💋😜

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Nothing (not BDSM or anything else) happens the way you fantasize about it. Reality is your Daddy Dom will get up the morning after & he’ll fart and scratch his balls like every other man that walks this earth. You never fantasized about that, did you? Yeah, me neither.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The most freeing moments are when you realize you still love each other — despite the makeup running down her face, the accidental silent but deadlies from him… the awkward “ouch” or “oops” and the ensuing giggle fits!!

    At least… that’s how this Little feels.

    My two cents,
    LG

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Some of those port movies aren’t so glamorous. I can also tell you from personal experience that kissing scenes are so hard to shoot. Coach and I both got cast in a commercial in the early 90s because they wanted an interracial couple. It took over an hour to shoot a six second kissing scene. The lighting, angles, hair out of place, clothes rumpled, etc, were constantly adjusted amd we couldn’t just let go and kiss. When we saw the commercial we were amazed at how sexy we looked because the director had us practically convinced that we were horrid. Nothing is as it seems.

    Like

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