For the teenagers looking to break into the world of BDSM…

When I was young and stupid, I had next to no help about my sexual curiosities. My mum claims she left it to my dad and my dad didn’t know to word it. My birds and the bees talk went like this:

Me: Dad, did you and mum have sex?

Dad: Yep.

That was it.

So imagine my wide eyes when I am jumping into the world of BDSM at the tender age of 17. Imagine how I felt when I was thinking the release of my girlfriend cutting was sexy as all hell. I couldn’t really talk to mum or dad, could I? or my friends, because teenagers eh? Or the counsellor because they’d say I was depressed or insane. Or both. I had no one.

No, don’t cue the violins. I’m fine. We can all read Payback to know I’m okay, right?

The thing is…teenagers are still out there confused. Either the Dominants are needing help or the submissive’s are needing help. Or maybe I’m wrong and it is true: kids grow up fast. They have the internet now. They can just go on Redtube or Xhamster or something and learn visually.

BUT. And I am trying to make it sound  non creepy here – BUT I know there are a lot of teenagers that roam these types of places and on the off chance, one of them lands here then I want them to know that my door is open. Which, okay, sounds creepy but I am really an okay guy, I swear. I like video games and Doctor Who and I am about as violent as a sleeping cat, which makes little sense but I am weird so lets go with it.

So, for the teenagers looking to break into the world of BDSM, the point is: You’re not alone. What you’re feeling is perfectly natural, perfectly reasonable. I was there, like a lot of you, and like a lot of people my age too. So please relax, please take a deep breath and sit back and have a moment to think.

The thing to always remember is you are not alone: So explore what you’re feeling but be safe and responsible about it: Take responsibility of who you are dominating or who you are submitting to. It’s a great world but it is a dangerous world. So if you are going to talk dirty, mind his/her emotions. If you are going to choke him/her, be gentle and be mindful of her limits. If you are going to gag her, cuff her or bind her with rope? For the love of everything holy, please be cautious. She/He on the other end is just as nervous and new to this as you are.

Better than that, don’t be afraid. Easier said than done, I am well aware. But you are not a freak. Don’t be disheartened if you run this by someone and they don’t take to it or ridicule you for it – the kink is not for everyone. But there is always someone that has an inner beast that is wired to them. Don’t despair.

Establish a ‘safe word’ and please, practice it. Pretty please. You will be embarking on some rough journeys and it will be new and raw and maybe too much all in one go for one of you.

Submissive people, make sure you are treated with respect by the Dominant one. I feel this one is important most of all. Don’t let him step out of line or boss you around. Remember: YOU are the boss of HIM. Think about it.

When I have children and if they possess my love for this world, I hope I can be warm and comforting to them as my family and friends and parents were not.

 

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5 thoughts on “For the teenagers looking to break into the world of BDSM…

  1. Hello there. It is nice to see someone speaking up and offering a hand to our younger generations. Sexuality in our culture is both open, and closed, and for those of us who step outside the lines of the conventional box, it can be a very lonely place indeed. It is also a delicate area for any of us who would help the younger generation, offering reassurance will no doubt be seen as pure evil by anyone who already does not understand. My Sir and I have talked, and he will respect our privacy and details of our intimate life, but he will also answer questions should my teens or their boyfriends approach with questions. I myself have spent time working in a woman’s health clinic and was amazed at how many women needed reassurance about basic sexuality. Time we opened the doors and supported those that are searching for reassurance and guidance.

    ~Smitten

    Liked by 1 person

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