I’m your sadistic Dominant

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I’m a sadistic Dominant. This much I’ve learnt in my journey. It’s taken me years to admit to myself and grow confident in my nature – my TRUE nature – but I am finally here.

When I was 17, I held a Dominating power over a then-girlfriend. I made her masturbate on her parents bed…and when she was done, I made damn sure her delicious cream was rubbed right into the fabric.

Back then, I was a kid who was experimenting so the gentleness I have now was, if not lost on me, then ignored. Because my belief now is that – well, to get geeky, with great power comes great responsibility, no?

But looking back, it appears there has always been that sadistic streak in me. Talking about my journey the other day on becoming a Dominant, it made me think about my sadism and I really wanted to explore it with all the beautiful people that follow me.

There is a nastiness to me that appears to me sometimes. It wants to push boundaries and make people uncomfortable. It manifests in two ways: I like to fuck with people’s minds. A slow delicious build up that gets the both of us hot, but with me always in control. And then I like to turn this into pushing people in an unpredictable environment BUT with an exit strategy should there ever be discomfort.

A part of this extends to Orgasm Denial. I can edge for a few hours. I think somewhere along the line I built up and practiced that feature — but my submissive cannot. Watching her squirm and beg and get nasty all over the one thing — release — is quite appealing to me.

Another time, I want to send her off to work in her shortest dress, just because I enjoy the thought of her squirming and trying to work around not flashing anyone. I wanted to see if she could struggle that successfully. I know I have sent her to work without panties and in a short dress in the past, just grinning evilly at the thought of her exposing herself – that the world might see but definitely couldn’t touch. (I have mentioned my possessiveness, yes?)

Other times, I might start fondling her while she’s driving. Or when she’s on the phone to her mother, I’ll start kissing down her delicious thighs. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll start stroking her treasure while people are over and in the next room.

I can’t explain why I am sadistic. Can anyone? What is it in our brains that just want that cruelty? What is it that makes me oh so hard at the thought of pushing her in that direction?

Dear lord, is it intoxicating…

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17 thoughts on “I’m your sadistic Dominant

  1. I loved your mention about the phone…
    Just the other day, while I was visiting Maestro, my ex-husband called to discuss some things about our son. Maestro was relentless in his pursuit of my edge, while I was on the phone. At one point, my ex asked if I was alright, as I sounded in his words, distracted. My reply was, “Oh I am good…never better.”
    Trust this man of mine with underlying sadistic tendencies to bring out the naughty exhibitionist in me.

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  2. I cannot explain the reasons behind such desires, but I can relate and am very curious to follow this topic. This is a new realization for me, especially because I can’t seem to decide which end I’d enjoy more… the dishing out or the receiving. Another new concept for I haven’t experienced being dominated by a man. I’ve always felt the desire to do both, I suppose, the desire to find a man who could actually make me submit as well as becoming powerful enough to dominate my entire life. Building things like a company, an empire… an idea, something so powerful no one could stop it. A movement. And I think I began dominating everything in my life as soon as I had a conscious mind, I just used the more subtle approach of manipulation. I quite enjoy watching people submit to my will (which is always for the pleasure of all involved). It’s a fetish all my own at times. I get off on teaching others something they didn’t know about life, or themselves, or me even. Huh. Werd… you’ve got me thinking, I’ll have to come back to this when I have more clarity on the matter.

    Generally though, I think these desires are things that the majourity of people struggle with. The journey to understand it, and themselves. I certainly do. Thank you for such a great topic! Question…

    Do you strictly enjoy being on the giving end of your sadistic desires and pleasures, or has it ever crossed your mind what it would feel like to have a woman control you… to watch you squirm, is there no appeal in a woman capable of making you submit to her will…on any level?

    E

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    1. E, what you wrote is powerful and beautiful and heartfelt. You should write more about your struggles and journeys. I have zero interest in being dominated. It doesn’t do anything for me. I struggle to understand the appeal, because my brain..I guess, must be wired that way, do you know what I mean? I guess we are all born fixed that way – or do we develop it? I don’t know. I want to talk to you further about this because it fascinates me

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      1. Likewise. I find it fascinating, the theory that perhaps some feel the desire for both dominance and submission somewhere in their lives where as others are singularly dominant or submissive, by nature. I’d say it’s nature without question. And with that being said…
        Perhaps another theory on that, would be, could be that it is in some developed in life. As nurture.

        I recently heard a perspective that the desire for any sort of BDSM relationship stems from some sort of psychological issue or trauma. I disagreed entirely but it was a very interesting theory. It was a discussion between myself and a very intellectual young female who holds no sort of judgement of strong feelings against the practise or desires of people, but instead is just as curious as we are.

        It is likely and logical to wonder if it’s a bit of both… Although, I don’t personally feel any psychological imbalance in the matter. Learning, curiosity, wonder… And of course, the ability to grow and experience life. For me, that is where it stems.

        E

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  3. Sometimes, the mind-fuck is as delicious as the physical fuck. The torture and punishment leads to the highest of highs. I LOVE knowing he is finding a thrill making me squirm. But, isn’t that why subs seek Doms and Doms claim subs? It’s the very nature of the Beast.

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  4. I can’t explain why you’re sadistic any more than I can explain why I have a masochistic streak within me, but goddamn it it exists. That part of me that says “yeah, I WANT you to take the belt and inflict as much pain on my soft bottom as you possibly can”. I can’t explain it, all I can do is admit it’s a part of me, and that when I give in to that part of me and engage in pain play, it’s glorious. So you’re a sadist, it’s OK, and while some women may back away when they hear that, I’m inching closer, ready to hand you my old florentine flogger and ask you if you need me to bend over a spanking bench or the bed…it’s really OK, I want it and I can take it.

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  5. It’s official, the one thing all Doms love: edging. 😉

    I have no idea why you’re a sadist, but I find it a delicious trait.

    I especially love it when a Dom with a sadistic nature shows his gentle side and vice versa.

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  6. I am also into orgasm denial. Ella has such stories of being forbidden to come. Our sadism is a kind of challenge. An asking, “what can she suffer for me?” And it’s an offer, “I give you all my attention, all my effort, all my interest. Accept the real me.”

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