Sometimes The Animal Wins

Were we always meant to be perverted?

We have our humanity, yes, and a moral code. The sexual predators are the ones that – for whatever reason – don’t and that’s what separates us from them. But is the line sometimes blurred? Do we make up for our animalistic thoughts by weighing it on the scale opposite from the scale that represents all the good we do in our lives?

Maybe I’m over tired. Maybe I’m onto something, maybe I am talking out of my ass here. Sometimes I look at, say, a waitress at a restaurant I’m dining in. I’ll notice everything from the light of her eyes, how she smiles to the way her breasts curve behind her work uniform. I’ll think about her as she passes me and serves the others. I’ll think about the colour of her panties and whether she is shaven or not. It will twist something in my stomach.

I could be sitting across from a woman while out another night. Her legs could be parted ever so slightly, revealing…what? a hint of the colour of her panties? More of her thigh?

I don’t go out into the night to be a womaniser. I was raised by a conservative mother. My family is mostly full of women. I have nothing but respect for women and yeah, when I feel my gaze is looking at the curves of a lady’s ass, I look away. I feel bad. I’m not always looking, you know, but it happens. And I never mean to.

Which is interesting. It’s like I’m waking up out of a dream. Like the animal takes over and despite my humanity, my own moral code and my family full of women, it wants to know about these women. It has a curiosity. An appetite. A sexual hunger.

She could be a woman just working at the grocery store, tattoos up her arm, long luscious brunette hair. And I think: Is SHE submissive? Does she go home at night and browse these blogs? How many times does she masturbate? What kinks is she into?

It’s not something I think with every woman I look at it, let me clear that one up. It’s just sometimes it happens. Sometimes I gaze when I don’t mean to. Sometimes I think when I don’t mean to. Sometimes, for a moment, it feels like ten minutes but in fact it is a few seconds, the animal wins.

And when the moment passes, I’m back to my old self. I’m head over heels for my submissive. I have no desire whatsoever to gaze upon other women. I retain my humanity and my moral code.

So: Were we always meant to be perverted? Does anyone else identify with my thoughts or am I just a sleazy womanising man? Because if that’s my story arc in this saga called life, that’s kind of disappointing. I thought I was better than that.

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19 thoughts on “Sometimes The Animal Wins

  1. I think there is a bit of primal in us. I know of a couple cute looking guys I work with that I would just like to fuck. Or even meet a couple of Doms on here who I would love to be their sub for a night or two. I think some of us have it and some do not.

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  2. Seems like a normal reaction to beauty by the primal side of your masculinity. I am totally monogamous but not dead. I react to whatever it is that attracts me – sometimes it’s visceral, others it’s intellectual appreciation.

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  3. I don’t believe that is perverted at all. While as your submissive I may take offense (I’m very possessive!), if I was the temporary target for your animalistic thoughts, I’d be excited and appreciative.

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  4. Nothing perverted at all here. Just raw, real and authentic.
    Anais Nin has a quote that seems applicable for this post, “The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.”
    Keep putting it out there…you would be surprised at how many of us have the same sentiment.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, that’s contrary to everything I’ve been told, but I will add your opinion to the mix. I don’t mean “abnormal” in a bad way. But I am an insatiable woman who is open about my sexuality and I have come across few like me. Hence my earlier comment – if my proclivities and appetite are normal to you, then you are lucky man indeed. All the best to you.

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    1. And to you too, miss. I think maybe you’re quite normal so don’t worry about it. I love your mind personally. It’s refreshing. And I do hope you stick around because I want to be updated on your insatiable journey

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      1. I’m not worried about it at all. I embrace my sexuality and difference from others – but it’s definitely different. I’ve stuck around for over 400 posts so not going anywhere soon!

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